It was almost one year ago when I wrote about the year that wrecked my life. In my not-really-a-new-years-resolution-but-kind-of-is post, I talked about how important it was to me to spend 2016 “getting my identity back.”
One year later, it’s worth looking at whether I accomplished my goal. But more importantly, what steps I took to make that attempt and fulfill my promise to myself. After all, we don’t get there by wishing for it. We get there by doing it.
My hope for 2016 was to regain the stronger version of myself and shed the me that felt weak (emotionally), to form a new 5-year and 10-year plan or goal for my career, to ensure I was putting my marriage and children first, to feel and be more grateful for what I have, and to learn to be okay with this military lifestyle we are living.
In 2016, I focused on ways to be a better mom and wife and to be more present when I was home (i.e. putting work down during dinner and having family dinner each and every night, helping my children to reconnect with the hobbies that help them discover their likes and dislikes and find out who they are, and not stressing over the things that really don’t matter in the long run).
I also worked on finding out who I am outside of a wife, mom and employee. I competed for Mrs. Virginia and it was during and because of my journey to Mrs. America that I finally found a way to forgive a few people. I had allowed my hurt and anger to destroy our relationship and in 2016 I worked on forgiving and rebuilding the relationships that were important. The amount of peace that comes with that feeling is indescribable. I also worked on my health and getting back into shape physically, which gave me the energy to do the other things that are important to me.
In 2016, I found more ways to help others who are currently or have been victims of abuse. I widened the non-profits I work with and am working on a much larger scale than before to bring change to child sex abuse, sex exploitation and human trafficking.
I also spent the year removing things from my life that conflicted with my 5-year, 10-year and lifetime goals. THAT was much harder than I anticipated and it took most of the year to accomplish it. I have so many ideas, so many things I’d like to see done, but I had to accept the reality that I’m only one person and I can do all things mediocre or a few things really well.
And while I had always thought I would try to make my way back to a traditional broadcast journalism career, I was reminded in 2016 I am not a very traditional person when it comes to jobs. I know exactly what my dream job looks like and I’ve decided to pursue something that looks similar to that, which may include TV but not the way it was before.
I know 2016 was a hard year for many, but it was a rediscovery year for me. And now for 2017: the year of rebuilding. I have written down the things I need to complete my long term goals and in 2017 I will work on the steps to make them happen, and I will continue to remove anything or prevent myself from starting any projects that do not directly align with those goals. I’m hoping 2017 and the subsequent years will be the years for big announcements and laying the stepping stones and groundwork to things that will bless my family for years to come.